![]() As previously stated ladies and germs, dicks to the bricks. In short, this game does not fuck around for even a second. Volcanos will spit out boulders while a wave of ships is screaming towards you on your right and mobile cannons are peppering the screen with fire on your left. You’ll have an easier time getting Ellen DeGeneres to participate in a bukkake video.Ĭomprised of seven of the most unforgiving levels this side of Axelay, Gradius is one tough mammajamma. If you see these fuckers and you have no extras to shoot them with, the game is pretty much over. Want to throw everything you get into speed making Vic rival that forsaken blue hedgehog? No problem! Prefer missiles to lasers and only have the power-ups for one? Then have a blast shitting bombs all across deep space! It presents the aura of strategy that the other shooters at the time were lacking as with time you slowly grasp what weaponry you’ll need to unleash in what situation. What makes Gradius badass is that you can customize how you make Vic stronger. At the start, a pathetic little pea shooter is given and Vic moves like it is on quaaludes but send enough of certain types of enemies to hell and powerful add-ons will be dispersed. The Vic, as I shall name it henceforth, is tasked with destroying waves of enemies before they can attack the pilot’s home planet of Gradius. I’m personally torn whether that is the dumbest name for a ship or the most bitchingest. In this first title of the long-running series, you play the role of an unnamed pilot behind the controls of a spaceship named the Vic Viper. Power-up enough and you can get some SERIOUS firepower happening. As with my earlier Capcom reviews, I will delve more into “The Code” during a time when a Konami game doesn’t contain as deep an origin. Konami still has their hands in just about everything from casinos, toys, and anime with a revenue of over three billion dollars so I think they are doing just peachy since their humble beginnings. NES, it decided that after it’s divorce from the arcades that it would legally change it’s name to Gradius. The game was given the name Nemesis and when ported to our good friend, Mr. Dicks to the bricks would be far more apropos. In 1985, they developed a shooter so frantic that balls to the wall cannot describe it. I cannot tell a lie, I am chomping at the bits to poke tons o’ fun at Gyruss for how many waves it takes to Uranus but that will come in due time. Wih their 1981 classic Frogger, Konami’s years of experience and growing confidence started to show at a blistering pace with many memorable titles being cranked out such as Super Cobra, Gyruss, Track & Field, and Rush N’ Attack among others. Initially one of the slowest developers in recorded history, it took 5 years for their first games to release. Founded in 1973 as a jukebox rental company of all things, Konami (a portmanteau of founders, Kagemasa KOzuki, Yoshinobu NAkama, and Tatsuo MIyasako) began creating what they labeled “amusement machines”. Today’s title also holds the distinction of being the very first to utilize the most famous game cheat in history, Let’s take a look at Konami’s NES cherry being popped before our very eyes with Gradius.Įven if you don’t know your own parent’s birthdays, you KNOW “The Code”įirst, a gander at Konami and how they came to become one of the most recognizable gaming companies in the world. No, Action 52 doesn’t count as even being a game so don’t even try that shit. Another first in the series was the inclusion of the "boss rush" (also known as "boss parade" or "boss alley"), a level designed entirely with only boss confrontations.HELL TO THE FUCK YEAH! A genre I’ve been anxiously awaiting to reach like a kid on Christmas morning, the space shooter. This is primarily evident in two of the weapons configurations that are selectable. Gradius II has kept the gameplay from the original game, but infused it with enhancements brought from the spin-off, Salamander ( Life Force). In Gradius II: Gofer no Yabou return to the role of the pilot of the Vic Viper spaceship to battle the second onslaughts of the Bacterion Empire, under the new leadership of Gofer, the giant head. Wii Remote, GameCube Controller, Classic Controller
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